Mood: Feeling violated

I get tons of e-mail everyday. Between co-workers and friends sharing silly stuff they find amusing enough to forward, and my daily business mail...It is a staggering figure. What wonderful technology at our fingertips. I am thankful to be apart of this generation of communication. Without it...I am certain I would have worn out a few pony express employees by now.

I have one friend that I work with that is one of those people whose name graces my inbox daily. She shares everything she gets that she finds of interest, entertainment or educational value. I never thought twice when I was browsing one such e-mail.
I opened one from her yesterday that had to do with a new community. Hi5 it is called. It was an invitation to join. I figured, groovey why not. I will check it out. What I didn't know is that this community is using backward tactics to get their membership numbers up. As I was signing in, it seems this company took it upon themselves to grab all the names in my address book and send an invite to everyone on the list.

I am no computer illiterate newbie. I know that I did NOT authorize such activity knowingly. I did NOT click a link to auto add buddies. I did NOT manually add my list of friends.
I became aware of this tactic late last night after having been gone all day shopping, only to return and find 30 or so mail daemon failure messages in my inbox. Along with a few "so and so" has joined Hi5 notifications.

I was a tad pissed, to say the least. As far as I can tell, it is a legitamate free community. Nothing harmful beyond the theiving of my addresses has gone on. It seems like a pretty cool place for people to locate and keep in touch with others. But I will be damned if I am going to participate now that my privacy has been invaded.

I surfed there this morning and deleted myself. Why is it that people have to take advantage of the wonderful technology we have at our fingertips? Is a company so desperate to get members and traffic that they have to resort to crooked behavior to get it? It is companies like this that give legitamate sites a bad name.

I am boycotting Hi5! I will not be manipulated. !!

Rant done :o)

Irony is such an amazing thing. As I was browsing thru the web last night I happened upon an old post from like 2 years ago. It was after a few people I knew "virtually" had a huge spat and had hurt eachother. I have very few moments of brilliance, but when I re-read this last night I giggled about how history repeats itself.. even in such a forum as this. I musta been on some good drugs when I wrote this *whew* Do the Dew or maybe I just had a Brunette moment

In life, people can't make us feel or do things that we don't allow them to. Our decisions are our own. ie: You can't make me angry , but I can choose to be angry. No one can make me happy but myself, nor is it anyone elses job to do so.
So my advise... Dont give people that power over you...No matter what the situation. Be responsible for your own feelings and actions.

The internet has some great feature called ignore and delete! right click the names of those you don't want to communicate with and block them...delete an unpleasant response..this allows you to continue your communications with the people who you do care about without the fuss of those you don't. *I am still searching for the real life version of this feature*

A few thoughts on virtual interaction. It would be my opinion that alot of us place way too much stock in what gets said online sometimes, and things get blown out of proportion. I often wonder if these were real life situations, how differently would we handle them?? Do we verbalize our opinions of each other in front of large crowds at the grocery?? Do we voice our dislikes about people based on thier physical appearance or our first impressions in the lobby of a movie theatre? Do we judge people and react accordingly without knowing anything more about them then how they look from a distance? When we fight and argue with people, do we do it loud and proud in the middle of a parking lot?? My guess is, not many do. When we hear someone has said something untrue or has said something about us..do we automatically make that person guilty without first going to them privatly to verify it?? Rumors kill alot of potentially wonderful friendships.

I am speaking as someone who is often judged by people who have no clue what I am about. I could come out on front street and lay peoples business bare for the world to see..but what is the point? There would be none, except maybe to appear weak and unable to handle critisism or to demonstrate an inability to not personalize things when I know they aren't true. Or maybe the point would be to try to belittle someone to make myself appear to be a better person then the one offending me? This is not the way I choose to react, no matter how hurtful the words or situation. And I wonder why sometimes people stoop to the level of the person doing the offending?? Don't give anyone that power over you! *sticks and stones....but names will never hurt me* Childhood song... lifetime lesson!
I have friends who have said to me. "Wow you are nothing like I thought." Makes me wonder what it is they thought *lol*

There are alot of us who share our souls online in one form or another. If we took a poll, my guess is that each of us has a different reason for being here, whether it is boredom at work or a lack of oportunity to be out in the real world or whatever. The internet is awesome because it does take away some of the stereotypical happenings of reality and tends to give people the confidence to say things or behave in ways they wouldn't in normal life situations. This is an incredible thing. The shy become confident and the bold become bolder. We do need to remember that behind each name lies a real soul. A person with feelings and a life. A life which can be wonderful or miserable. Chat is a huge melting pot of society, and I personally LOVE that. I have met awesome people that under a world without internet, I never would have had the opportunity to get to know. For that I am thankful !!

Maybe we should spend more time with the people we click with, and less time with the ones we don't. Practice keeping our opinions to ourself when they have the ability to hurt. Take the time to get to know someone before we form opinions. Maybe go out of our way to speak to someone who we don't know or maybe someone we have formed an opinion about and now realize we know nothing of them beyond that opinion. Take the time to get to know what lies behind the flesh. We are all made up of the same stuff physically. Flesh, blood and bones..the only difference is the structure. Its what fuels the flesh that makes us unique and individual.
Our community is filled with truly wonderful people with huge hearts. I am honored to say I know this from experience.

For the record here..I am speaking generally and not about any one situation or chain of events. So please dont read more into what is here then the intention.

Behind even the most annoying behavior, lies a person crying out for compassion.

Life is 5% situational an 95% the attitude in which we react to those situations.

Go with open minds and joyful hearts and make love, My Friends!

Mood: Excited=Nervous

As of 6 pm this evening, I am officially the new Adminsitrator of a very large organization!
It has aken a very long 5 weeks to get official word, but as of today I can relax. They picked ME !! weee

My duties start tomorrow with a Board meeting. OMG! Who woulda thought, Me @ a Board Meeting! They must make it official by announcing me and allowing me to meet all the members. Should be fairly simple for me to just observe and take it all in. Smile and not look green. I imagine the next couple weeks are going to be rip roaring with tons and tons of overwhelming responsibilities until I get my feet wet and settled in.

One of my major yearly responsibilities happens in just over 3 weeks so not much time to learn the ropes. I am looking forward to the challenge. I am also looking forward to having something in my life that excites me. My daily job (although not for the weak at heart) is pretty much a no-brainer.

This job is sure to challenge my intelligence, patience and my ability to act like a grown-up. I think the latter will be the most difficult aspect :o)

Yet another novel I created in an attempt to throw a little perspective at the die hard parents who seem to constantly push their kids to a distructive level just to satisfy their own misguided childhood dreams. It ticks me off to sit and listen to it and bite my lip. I take it for awhile until a situation presents itself that I can voice my concerns without attacking others. Oh how I would love to let loose on a few of those dads lol

Posting it here so I can come back and remind myself that I can be rational, when I put my mind to it!


First I want to express how thankful I am to be apart of such a wonderful soccer family. I appreciate the passion, commitment and support I have witnessed over the last 3 years from all 3 coaches, parents and boys. It is truly a unique relationship we all have formed and a blessing. Good times and rough times, I believe I am a stronger person due to my experiences and my son has only benefited from this experience.

As the mom of an 11 year old with a deep seeded passion for soccer, knowing what is best for him is not always an easy task. My goal is to do what is in his best interest. He plays because he loves the game, his team and his coach. I believe it is the combination of all three that keeps him excited about practice and games. It also keeps him from resenting soccer when he has to decline a birthday party or a movie with school friends. It is his choice to play. It is his commitment that keeps him motivated. My commitment lies in helping him get where he needs to be, when he needs to be there. And to encourage him to do what he chooses to do. He is a lucky kid to have such skill in the game he loves. I am certain he doesn’t realize all that he is learning from being apart of this team. It goes way beyond ball control and physical endurance. It ranges from respect, responsibility and teamwork to self-esteem, integrity and pride.

Those things are not achieved by how many games he wins or what division he plays in, but by the example and expectations set forth by his coach and the network of individuals that travel this soccer journey with him. At the age of 11, he won’t remember his team’s statistics or how many miles we wore off the tires on the car. He will remember how to be respectful, win or lose. He will remember how to have faith and confidence in himself. He will learn that much is gained by commitment and sacrifice. Life lessons are priceless.

With all that said, I have spent long hours listening and absorbing all the information presented recently about the future of the boys on this team. The A and B team scenario has been hot topic. The factor that is going unspoken is that if “A” players from Coach Nick’s team and their parents are given a choice to join Coach Aponte’s team or to stay with Coach Nick… I am guessing we will end up with the same 2 teams we have now. No need to spend much time worrying over the inevitable. The boys will choose to stay due to their commitment to Coach Nick and their team. The parents will choose to stay because we know how fortunate we are to have such a wonderful role-model for our children. It is my opinion that the only way a batch of Coach Nick’s boys would choose to change teams would be if their coach/mentor sat down with them and explained the benefits (of which I am not sure are powerful enough anyway) and encouraged them to move as a group. I personally will be leaving the choice up to my son, should he be chosen, and as of this moment he isn’t budging. And he would probably be one of the ones most apt to consider it as he has had the opportunity to play for Coach A, who he enjoys very much.

So with this above scenario, comes the next question. Which division and what coast? The boys played up to U12 west coast and as stated by Lou, found no competition. From what I have heard and seen, Division 2 East Coast is a big difference then what we have seen this last year on the West coast even playing up. One of the points that hit home with me Tuesday night at the banquet was the number of coaches that made comments about confidence. How it can make or break a team’s outcome. We have all witnessed the wrath of our team taking the field with a defeated attitude before the whistle ever blows. If ever weekend the boys donned their gear after a long drive to the East Coast to get beat, it is going to do little for their development and even less for their confidence. At the age of 11-12, what should be the goal? Hardware and a winning record are nice on paper, but what does it do for a young boys drive to fail constantly? It would defeat the underlying benefit of being a competitive athlete. If they can find competition at Division 2 East coast, then what is the point of pushing them to Division 1? Is the division they compete in this year going to affect their long term progress as players? My thoughts on that are that if they get beat up week after week, it may indeed burn them out and certainly challenge their confidence and growth. This won’t benefit the club at all, to have yet another dissolved team and talented boys so burnt out that they give up on the game they love.

I was thinking about it as with a gifted child, who is recommended to skip a grade in school. The child may be scholastically prepared, but what about emotionally?? What do they miss out on by skipping ahead, weighed against the benefits? The very worst case scenario here is that the boys would compete in Division 2 East coast and whoop everyone. Nice confidence booster and a lesson learned without damaging the underlying passion that drives them at this age. Then next year, reevaluate and adjust accordingly.

Now my response to a few of the recent things I have heard. I would have to disagree that it was just a few individual players that achieved the results of last season. I witnessed the boys play more as a team this year and progressively so, as the season wore on. I think we all agree that when they play possession ball as a team, they are unstoppable. The key is getting them to do it consistently. They learn by trial and error. I believe they are getting it, just maybe not as fast as some of us would like.

As for one kid making or breaking the team, what an unfair judgement of the rest of the boys that make up this team!! I can’t count how many times I heard prior to last weekend that without so and so, the team would fail. And it has been said before about other boys and even my son. If the parents have that attitude, is it not fairly likely that the boys will take that attitude as well?? And if it is believed that one player not being present will doom the team, why spend the time, money and effort to even bother going?? I have bit my tongue and at times let a few things slip on this subject that I shouldn’t have. I was rather shocked at the extent that this point was pushed over and over before the Westin Tournament. I was happy that on Sunday the boys did a very fine job of showing everyone that they can unite as a team, work together and play their game and get results no matter who makes the journey or not.

I am proud that my son plays on a team that promotes fair play and respect. There is a lot of sideline talk of other teams whose players use threats, foul language and dirty physical tactics. I would not be proud to have a child on a team that allowed those types of behavior. Nor would I respect a coach that allowed such behavior to go on, whether on the pitch or off. To me THAT is benching behavior. ALL of Our kids will make mistakes. They will not perform to our expectations. They will be off sides and pass to the invisible Shark. They will let that leg fly up on a throw in. Boys will be boys. Yelling and screaming from either side of the field won’t make them perfect. (Or we would have won Region Cup) joke! Haha I realize I am not a cut throat competitive parent. It is a fine line between teaching lessons and breaking a child’s spirit. I am pro teaching lessons. I want to encourage my son’s talent and not burn him out to be yet another statistic.

Coach You rock!! My son and I both appreciate ALL you do and the wonderful example you set for all of us. You continue to amaze me with your patience and compassion where we are all concerned, both for the boys and us challenging parents.



Be Well Everyone.

No one can put into words the joys behind parenthood. Books try, your friends struggle for the words. But they just don't do justice. The intensity of the love, the sleepless nights, the challenges and certainly the rewards.
Never in my wildest imagination (and it is wicked wild) before that spectacular moment of conception, did I even invision having to give a sex talk on masterbation to my 11 year old son while navigating traffic on a 10 minute ride to the field on a Friday night.

It began with him telling me that his girl had dumped him (again) and was now dating his "pervert" friend that lives in our building. He used pervert, which I thought was an interesting choice of words. I innocently inquired on why he used that word, and if he knew what it meant. He then said he thought the word referred to people who talk about nasty stuff all the time. Pretty right on 11 year old definition. So then, being the curious cat I am, ask him why he calls his friend pervert. The explanation I got was the beginning of the unexpected parental experience that insued.
Apparently his friend thinks it is funny to go around telling their friends to "close your eyes, bite your lower lip, then make a fist with your hand and pretend your shaking up dice" (insert 11 year old demonstration here)

I ask if he knows what that means. He says yeah, masterbating. (insert mom's look of disbelief here) Again I ask if he knows what that means. Hoping he gives me a perfect definition so I don't have to come up with one!! Not my lucky day, he says no. Rats!!

So I am forced to ramble off a 4 minute rushed explanation that included words like sex, orgasm, erection and self pleasure. Where the hell is dad?? He snakes out of yet another sex chat!! I was glad he talked to me so he wasn't learning these things from his 11 year old friends and I did manage to include the fact that it is normal and that contrary to what Grammy might think, it won't make you go blind or grow gorilla hair on your palms.

I timed it just right, didn't take a breath til the park was in sight and distracting him from asking things like "Do you do it?" A road I don't want to travel hehe