Moving on...03.10.06 (6:19 am) 
I have been with tblog for over 2 years. I would have to say that this site is solely responsible for my blogging addiction. A great community atmosphere. I have several people who I keep in touch with now and consider friends due to our tblog commonality. The majority of my friends have since moved to new domains. I guess I am the last one to resist change. But the time has come...(think the spam commenting pushed me over the edge) If you still want to visit http://goddess.efx2.com If you too happen to move, please share your new address. I still have a long list of tblog'rs blogrolled and visit often. Spambots need not click. My new home has a security system.
Punishment outweighs the crime..02.17.06 (12:54 am) 
Where to start with this mess in my head.
Part of me is furious,part of me is in shock, part of me is thankful and yet another part of me is sad. That's alot of parts to be in one place.
The Crime: Saying "This fuckin sucks" to an assistant coach.
The Punishment: 14 days suspension from the team. At the conclusion of the 14 days if you choose to return to the team, there must be an apology to all and that apology must be acceptable in the eyes of the head coach. If the apology is not acceptable or you choose not to apologise and leave the team, you will be blacklisted from joining any other team within your current club.
The Lesson to be Learned: You are responsible for your own actions.
Events that lead to the crime:Saturday afternoon game. 5 minutes into this game, the score is 0-2 and not in your teams favor. You play offense, your objective is to get the ball and score points for your team. You had no part in the resulting 2 goals scored against your team. Yet for some reason, your team mates, who you consider your friends on and off the field, are yelling at you. Not so nice things either. Parents on the sidelines are yelling not so nice things as well. Now your ever so UN-wise mom has talked to you at great lengths about how you can't yell back at your team mates. How you have to stand there and take it and give nothing back. Because once you stoop to their level, you are no better then they are. You must shut off your passion, your feelings, the very things that drive you to be so damn great at this game you love. Just take it, at the age of 12. Not understanding why your friends would be mean to you like this. Why other parents who normally treat you as their own would critise you in front of God and everyone. But yet you stand there and say nothing. Trying to play your game. Trying to hold back the tears that burn your eyes, because you are a boy. A boy placed into an ugly situation and expected to not react. The words hurt worse then a fist in the gut. At the first subbing opportunity, who gets pulled? The kid yelling at his team mates? Nope. The keeper who has been yelling at the ref? Nope. The kid who doesn't work hard even when things are going well? Nope. You get pulled. And as your walking off the field with your head down, your best friend says to you "If she is pullign you, I am not even going to try, because your the only one who can make us win." As you approach the sideline, the assistant coach says something to you, you mumble, "this fuckin sucks" to which the coach then screams at you to sit on the bench that you are done for the rest of the game.
Upon hearing this, the ever UN-wise mom makes her way to the sidelines. Tells you to grab your bag we are gone. She is sick of watching you take this abuse. She is sick of keeping her mouth shut, doing the "right" thing and not sticking up for her boy.
Head down, you walk with her in silence. You know she is there to support you. You know she at least kinda understands. But your loyalty to the team takes over. You tell your mom that you can't leave your team like that. You bravely turn around and walk back. You apologise to the coach, who then makes you apologise to the team. Not understanding totally why, you do it anyway.
Who was wrong in all this? I currently think it is mom. For not pulling the plug sooner. For thinking that asking her son to turn into a robot to take the continual abuse was the right thing. It is obvious why you are so hard on yourself. Why you take every loss as your own personal failure. Is it any wonder? The world around you has basically helped you climb that ladder whether you wanted to jump or not.
After 3 years the coach has decided to put a foot down. And you are being used as the example. Will you suffer? I know you will miss attending practice. I know your disappointed about missing Region Cup competition. But you will pass the time fishing, swimming and playing pool with your neighborhood friends. You will be free of your responsibilities that you take so seriously.
The team will suffer. The other boys will learn the lesson thru your consequences. Maybe this is the start of your coach not tolerating the behavior anymore from anyone. He said they of course hope you decide to rejoin the team. To which your mom replied that if that is to happen things will have to change all around. Coach agreed. Mom will not willingly place you back into that situation. It has progressively gotten worse in the 3 years you have been involved. Mom wanted to pull you, but felt it wasn't fair to the team to do so right before the biggest tournament of the year. We were going to finish out the commitment and re-evaluate before joining next year. Apparently it wasn't such a big deal so it seems.
I can just imagine the drama this will create. Your best buddy already wants to quit because you got suspended. I doubt his mom will allow that.
Will the forces that spurred your outburst get a hint?? Ha not likely. No amount of talking in 3 years has changed that. A Leopard doesn't lose his spots.
Should there have been consequences for your comment? Yep. It didn't hurt anyone, wasn't directed to hurt anyone, but that doesn't make it right. You are responsible for your own actions, no matter the catalyst.
Do I feel the punishment out weighs the crime?? Yepper. But I think the punishment will be felt more on those not dunkin a worm in the pond next weekend. For that I am thankful.
Hair Removal Made Easy...or Not!02.15.06 (11:37 pm) 
It is my yearly February bout of Cooties. Seems to go along with the territory. My son is down bad. 3rd day of ugly fever. Needless to say I am whooped and my brain is void of anything creative. So, I received this awhile ago from a co-worker via e-mail. Claimed to be a true story. It is so good that I laughed again when I found it in my archives even though I knew the ending.
HAIR REMOVAL MADE EASY
All methods have tricked me with their promises of easy, painless removal - the Epilady, the standard razor, the scissors, the Nair, the EpilStop, and now ....The Wax.
My night began as any other normal weekday night. I came home from work, fixed dinner for my son and we played for a while. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple hours: maybe I should use that wax in my medicine cabinet. I set up my boy with a video and head to the site of my demise, um, I mean bathroom. It was one of those
cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the clear strips in your hand, peel them apart, press it on your leg (or wherever) and ignore the frantically rising crescendo of string instruments in the background. No muss, no fuss. How hard can this be? I mean, I'm not the girly-est of girls but I'm mechanically inclined so maybe I can figure out how this works.
So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other, stuck together. I'm supposed to rub it in my hand to warm and soften the wax (I'm guessing). I go one better: I pull out the hair dryer! And heat the SOB
to ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my ass. (Oh, how that phrase will come back to haunt me.)
I lay the strip across my thigh. I hold the skin around it and pull. OK, so it wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!
With my next wax strip, I move north.
After checking on the boy and verifying that he was, in fact, becoming one with Bear and learning all about smells, I sneak into the bathroom for The Ultimate Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and place one
foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I then apply the wax strip across the right side on my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and
stretching up into the inside of the right ass cheek. (Yeah, it was a long strip.)
I inhale deeply. I brace myself.
I'm blind! Blind from the pain! ....... Vision returning. Oh crap. I've managed to pull off half an inch of the strip. Another deep breath. And RIIIP! Everything is swirly and tie-dyed? Do I hear crashing drums?
OK, coming back to normal again. I want to see my trophy - my wax covered pelt that caused me so much agony. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold the wax strip like an Olympic gold
But why is there no hair on it? Why is the wax mostly gone? Where Could the wax go, if not on the strip?
Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on the toilet. I see hair - the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I feel. I am touching wax. I look to the ceiling and silently shout "nooooooo!!"
And realize I have just begun living my own personal version of "The Tar Baby."
I peel my fingers off the softest, most sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and matted hair, and make the next big mistake - up until this point, you'll remember, I've had my foot on the toilet.
I know I need to move, to do something. So I put my foot down on the floor. And then I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Ass? Sealed shut.
A little voice in my head says "I hope you don't have to shit anytime soon. Your head just might pop off." I penguin walk around the bathroom trying desperately to figure out what I should do next.
Hot water! Hot water melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I can stand and get in - the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it away, right? Wrong.
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment. And I sit.
Now the only thing worse than having your goodies glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax.
So now I'm stuck to the tub.
I call my friend, C, because she once dropped out of beauty school So surely she has some secret knowledge or trick to get wax off skin. It's ever good to start a conversation with "So my ass and vagina are stuck to the tub."
She doesn't have a trick. She does her best to suppress laughter. She wants to know exactly where the wax is on the ass. "Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks. She isn't even trying to hide the giggles now.
I give her the run-down of the entire night. She tells me to call The number on the side of the box, but to have a good cover story for where the wax actually is. "You know that if we were working the help line at XX Wax
Co. and somebody called with their entire crack sealed shut we'd just put them on hold then record the conversation for everyone we know. You're going
to end up on a radio show or the internet if you tell them the truth."
While we go through various solutions, I have resorted to scraping the wax off with a razor. Boy, nothing feels better to the girly goodies than covering them in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and THEN dry
shaving the sticky wax off!
In the middle of the conversation (which has inexplicably turned to Other subjects!) I find the little, beautiful saving grace that is the lotion provided with wax to remove the excess. I rub some in and start
screaming "It's working! It's working!" I get hearty congratulations from C and we hang up.
I successfully remove all the wax and notice, to my dismay, that the Hair is still there. So I shaved the damned stuff off. Hell, I was numb by that
point anyway. And then I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet.
Never know when a moustache might start to come in.
Bitch & Moan02.07.06 (12:11 pm) 
I have decided that I like this private sorta tucked away blog. I know of someone, actually a few someones who have lost jobs or been written up for blogging. Whether it is because their boss finds out they blog on the clock, or because they advertise their blog to their co-workers and then flame the hell out of their idiot boss. Freedom of speech reins until it falls upon the eyes of those in control of your paycheck!!
#1 Bitch: Why should I have to do my job TWICE, because people I deal with are irresponsible and disorganised?? It is royally pissing me off this week. I have had to take my free time to cover the asses of a few idiots. How do you misplace/lose/throw away something of importance withint 48 hours of obtaining it when you know it is essential??? And then...how do you have the nerve to try to blame ME for your stupidity??? If I choose to be a bitch and make a point by refusing to do this job again...the ones who suffer are a team of kids that won't be participating in a tournament because their coach has fewer brain cells then little Sally's hamster.
#2 Bitch: I have finally found out what they do with the people who can't hang as school bus drivers. They make them Supervisors!! And I got the worst of the lot! Mandatory meeting today. 45 minutes of useless babbling on how to read and follow simple directions on a task most of us have been doing for years! They will pay us all OT for a meeting of this caliber, but expect us to do our jobs for free on 2 hurricane make-up days because they paid us while we were out of work after Wilma!! 45 minutes of listening to a woman who has No Clue and just last week accused me of shoving 89 kids onto a 65 passenger bus because she thought I drove a regular size bus. Instead of going..."Oh her student count is 89 everyday...I must be mistaken on her bus size" Noooooo she pulls my keys calls me into the office and starts reaming me out for putting 89 kids on my 65 passenger bus! My response to her "OMG I'm sorry, wasn't I supposed to count the kids I stuff in the cargo hold???" She wasn't amused! I was. It is a sad state of being when your boss is a big moron.
#1 Moan: Nemo has gone Carnivore. One of my fish is eating it's own. (lately I can relate) I have a cute lil fishie missing an eyeball. Knowing he probably didn't pluck it out himself, I am on a mission to find the mean bastard who is probably responsible for this and also de-finning one of my other fish in that tank. Poor thing swam in circles at the bottom of the tank until I segragated him from the others and tried to nurse him along. He eventually lost the battle with the filtration system. I found him plastered to the nozzle of the filter tube. Apparently he didn't have enough fight in him. I felt guilty for days about his slow and traumatic death. I shoulda just flushed the poor thing. *sigh* I feel better now. Sharing the adventures of my neurotic aquaintances. I'm not perfect, but at least I can Count!!!
Mid-Week Bitch02.01.06 (6:12 pm) 
The work load never ends. Someone told me a few months ago "hang in there Chell, in a few months you will be looking for things to keep ya busy" I would like to find him and bitch slap him for getting my hopes up!! My teenage daughter has marked me as the enemy in her life. I knew it was coming, as I think all of us strong willed independant women prolly went thru this metamorphosis of psychosis at one point in our adolesense. My meer existance is the trigger. I can't speak, move or breath to satisfy her. She is almost 14 so my brain has apparently shrunk now and fell out my ear hole when I wasn't looking. Her response to the annoyance that is moi? Sarcasm, eye-rolling, muttered words of hatred and of course the inability to speak to me or at me in a normal tone of voice. Obviously I am the problem in the whole situation. As I am just too stupid of an idiot to have anything of use to say. And my nagging is just a horrible inconvenience to her life as the perfect teenager. I am currently exercising my parental annoyingness. Today at 1:00pm I recieved a call from her school that she was too sick with her head cold to remain at school. I phoned work and took the rest of the afternoon off so I could go bring her home to rest. Now that school time is over, she is feeling better and wants to attend Youth Group. Being the mean idiot, I told her that she needs to stay home and rest and not infect her friends. Her response? "Oh, I never wanted to come home. I just wanted to stay in the clinic until P E was over. But since YOU wouldn't talk to me on the phone and just came to get me. I am going!" (followed by a stomp to the bathroom where she is now in the shower) So now I have a decision to make! Is this a battle worth fighting? Do I inforce the rule that missing school removes you from all evening activities. If I take this stance, my night will be a living hell. Filled with sulking and looks that could kill. Or do I give in and let her go, just to get a freakin nights peace out of it??
Attitude12.12.05 (6:05 pm) 
An inspiring perspective that touched me today.
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past ... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes."
Wow...I been gone forever11.09.05 (11:14 pm) 
Where the hell have I been?
Too busy to blog, that's where.
I miss it though. Nothing like a pondering blog entry to de-stress after a long day. I really need to make time to put my thoughts in text.
I updated my graphicx...as you can see.
Been workin on the Bucket of Nutz community hang out when I have free time, which isn't often. I haven't invited friends and family to join as of yet, but once I get everything decorated like I want, I will get that done.
Now, where are all my wicked wacky t-blog pals??
Anyone still around?
Why am I so Crabby?09.25.05 (10:04 pm) 
It is 1 am, and while I was just showering I got to thinking about time. How I never seem to have enough of it. How it seems to slip away in a heartbeat. How I long for a few more hours in my days.
Anyway, I did a little math. Here is what I came up with.
168 total hours in a week. Of those 168, I spend 30 at my "real" job, 30 at my "labor of love" job, 15 at my "extra $$" job. At least 14 hours on the phone (business only), at least 14 hours in the car (business related travels). 12 hours on the soccer field for my kid. (part of which is spent in the parking lot doing Soccer business) 7 hours cleaning house (and the lack of time shows) 3.5 hours in the shower. 1 hour brushing my teeth. 2.5 hours going tinkle. 7 hours nourishing my body. 1.5 hours getting un/dressed.
The grand total of all this is 137.5 hours. Which leaves 30.5 hours for Sleep, Sex and anything fun!!
No wonder I'm Crabby!!!
Might explain why I haven't blogged in months too :(
Clean Sweep07.25.05 (11:06 am) 
It was Sunday night, after a hellacious week of this endless work. I think I was to the point of being so overwhelmed with "to-dos" that I couldn't figure out where to start.
Bri and I are sharing a quiet moment of chit chat while the kids are at the pool. We start discussing the layout of our living space. When we moved in, my desk was in a small corner of the living room. It has since turned into 2 desks, 2 file cabinets, briefcases, a humongus fax/phone/scan printer monster and the list goes on. The living room is now my make shift office. The living room has been scrunched into the TV room area (that was designed to be a dining room) We are both feeling cramped and decide we need to regain control of our space.
We work together to form a plan. Making sure that we won't be doing a bunch of work to achieve the same cramped result and that the tv cable and computer cords will all reach new destinations
My new Addition07.22.05 (12:15 am) 
Every afternoon this summer, I have driven 22 miles to my childrens old elementary school. It is my job to clean up and close up after the 2 summer camp programs going on. PIA but keeps me a little income until I am back in the bus come August 15th.
Shortly after starting, I made a discovery one evening in a classroom I happened to walk into to tinkle. A fish tank with a slow gurgling air supply. I flip on the overheads and what do I find...An abandoned fish.
As I was checkin her out, she seemed to be even more curious about me. I found what was left of a jar of fishy food and proceeded to feed Ms. Fish. Poor thing acted half starved. Being the animal lover I am, I made note of the room number to be sure to come visit every night and feed Ms. Fish in case no one else was.
This routine lasted for a couple weeks. It didn't seem that anyone had been in the room, and knowing that all the staff outside of camp have the summer off...poor Ms. Fish.
I was off work the end of last week for our Clearwater adventure, so Monday I was anxious to check up on Ms. Fish. What I discovered is that the daytime custodial staff had been into the room and stripped it in preperation for deep cleaning. In doing so, they had unplugged Ms. Fish's air supply. OMG how could they NOT see this 6" fish swimming around and think she could survive without freshly oxygenated water?? So after much contemplation, I found paper and left a very bold note. It read:
DO NOT shut off my air. I will die!!! signed The Fish
I return on Tuesday to find that someone can't read!! Or maybe just can't read Fish! and had once again unplugged the air. By now I am pissed. I know I know, it is only a fish. But what an inhumane way to treat an animal that has done nothing to harm anyone except be born into captivity.
After much ranting and raving, I am now a woman on a mission. I plot my course of action and go to work. I found an old igloo cooler stashed in the custodial kitchen and a plastic bin. I sneak back into Ms. Fish's room and proceed to fishnap her. Yep, I'm a criminal. Sue me!!
I slide Ms. Fish in her igloo home into the backseat and head for Wally World. An hour later and $50.oo poorer, I arrive home and set up the works.
I am now the proud RESPONSIBLE tender of a ___________ fish, I have named Kissylips. I decided on the name after leaning near the tank and having her come to the glass and *smooch* me with her big lips. She is cool as hell. She follows me when I am in the kitchen and near her tank. She swims to the surface when I open her lid. She looks at me with those big fishy eyes that say "Thank You for saving my scaley life"
I have no clue what kind of fish she is. Or if she is a she at all lol Here are some picks of Ms. Kissylips. If you happen to be able to identify her, I would appreciate a heads up so I can care for her properly.
I believe her to be a Cichlid. But not really for sure.
Isn't she cute??
Weekend Fun07.20.05 (8:00 am) 
Isn't it beautiful? We had such a wonderful time. Next year we will be doing both the Daytona AND Clearwater Socceronthebeach Tournies.
Dispite never having played on the beach, our athletes adjusted well. Due to our reputation in the higher ranks of youth soccer, we were placed into the pool of top teams for this format.
First game on Friday morning was against the U12 team that won the Daytona tournament in June. You couldn't tell that our kids hadn't been born to play in the sand. The competition was equal across the board. After a hard fought battle the score ended in a 1-1 tie. In beach soccer, ties are declared by who had the most corner kicks. So we went down by a loss of 1 corner kick against us.
Game two on Friday afternoon was a scorcher. But the boys adjusted well and played a splendid game. Winning 3-0 against a nearby Largo team that had also played in Daytona. Who I might add, had the friendliest parents. We enjoyed very nice conversation and adventure sharing experiences with fun loving opposing parents. Not typical in our level of play, and a very nice change.
Saturday morning, we played the 2nd place Daytona winners. At half time the score was tied 2-2, and our kids came out fighting. They dominated the 2nd half and walked away with a 6-2 victory.
Because the first team we challenged had a 3-0 record to our 2-1 record, they advanced to the finals on Sunday.
Coaches adjenda for the weekend was for the boys to have a new experience and learn the game as they played. Hoping for improvement with each game they tackled. In that respect, we walked away champions.
The entire experience was an enjoyable one, and I already have the 2006 tournaments penciled into my planner. I am hoping to share this experience with my colleagues and next year have so many Naples teams entered there will be more sharks on land then in the waters.
No grass, cleats or shinguards.
Soccer on Da Beach07.13.05 (9:30 am) 
Heading up north to beautiful Clearwater Beach for a tournament. 4 relaxing days with not a care in the world (yes, the cell phone will be turned off) We have a suite on the beach, full kitchen 2 bedrooms and a private balcony overlooking the bayside Marina.
The tournie is actually ON the beach. Playing in the sand. We haven't done this format before, but I expect it will be a hoot. I had to print out the rules so we could all review them before arriving. It is some of the funniest reading and for once I wasn't bored to tears reviewing them.
Here are a couple of my favorites;
THE BALL: We suggest you use one. Make sure it is spherical. Otherwise it won't roll.
THE REFEREE: Will be perched in an umpire chair like they do in tennis.
LENGTH OF GAME: 2 15 min periods. That sand is tiring stuff. The ref will keep time, so try to find one that can tell time.
SCORING A GOAL: Try to score as many as possible or everyone gets bored to tears. A goal is scored when the keeper starts blaming his defenders and the idiot who scored runs around the field jumping up and down making a fool of himself.
OFFSIDES: There ain't any. We don't like it and no one understands that stupid rule anyway.
If the tournament turns out to be half as fun as the rules, we are assured an excellent trip. Plenty of photo ops, even more tanning ops and best of all the op to do my favorite thing and just be a soccer mom and enjoy my kiddos and my man!!
Memory Lane without a map07.13.05 (8:24 am) 
I see this name that looks familiar, one of those blast from the past moments! I click it and I am taken to the death notices. I start reading about this man who passed away July 7th 2005 in St Pete FL. He is survived by his wife....and then it lists his children. Michael, Harold and Annette. *way to odd to be coincidence*
As I start reading the names, I realise that without a doubt it is the father of some people who at one time meant a great deal to me. One being the boy that at age 15, I would have sworn I was going to marry, the others his brother and sister.
Now over the years I have wondered what became of my first love. I think that is fairly common. Don't we all have those times where we wonder how one altered moment in the past could have drastically changed our present? It has nothing to do with wanting a different present, for me it is just a reminder of how things are destined to be.
I have very fond memories of that time in my life. I was sad for the loss I am certain my long ago friends are enduring. I didn't know their father very well, but even after 20+ years... my feelings for those who I was fortunate enough to have as a part of my life, are still true and intact.
A nice stroll down memory lane.
Lost in HTML07.10.05 (7:15 pm) 
I have been lost in HTML land all weekend. Thankfully the hurricane only threw a few short lived power outages and some wind gusts our way.
Here is what I have been working on.
Faeyh's Lifetime Solutions
Naples 1st Annual Shark Shootout
My thoughts are with all the people in the panhandle and Alabama as they got slammed by yet another show of mother natures force.
Interesting fact of the weekend:
The temperature of the Gulf of Mexico on Friday 91 degrees. The temperature this morning 81 degrees.
I am in awe at the amount of energy rquired to drop the temperature by 10 degrees in such a huge body of water. Simply amazing!!
Hurricanes, bombings and death Oh My!!07.08.05 (5:31 am) 
As if life isn't wicked crazy enuff as it is...
Days like this are vivid reminders to me that we must stop and smell the roses every single chance we get. Don't let an opportunity pass us by to express our love and thankfullness to those who are important.
ife is too short and unpredictable to be ugly and nasty to anyone for any reason. (except terrorists)
Today I will smile and count my blessings.
Tag07.06.05 (7:26 am) 
1. Mood: Barely past awake, happy and a tad sad :(
2. Wisdom: Hug the ones you love and let them know.
3. Attire: lime green tank dress and barefeet.
4. Surroundings: Chaos of things to do!
5. Quote: Is it Friday Yet?
6. Food: I need some - maybe french toast and a peach.
7. Blogging: Wish I had more time to be more expressive.
8. Words: mi poco loco gata
9. Friends: I miss hangin with mine!! I need to plan a beach day wif em
10. Ideas: need to hire a secratary to help with the chaos. Anyone need a job??
Complete the following 10 word associations (in a blog) and then tag 3
or more bloggers of your choosing.
Reality Check07.05.05 (9:46 pm) 
One of our coaches suffered a critical brain aneurism this morning. He is on life support and his prognosis is poor at best.
His family is in need of any thoughts and prayers you could send their way Please!!!
He is my age with young children about the same age as mine. He is an active passionate man that makes a positive impression on the people who are fortunate to know him. He has been a coach for the club I work with for many years. The kids respect and look up to him. The adults admire his youthful spirit and passion toward everything he touches.
It is these life reality checks that make me slow down and take moments to appreciate what really matters. Waking up in the morning, the splendor of my children and the love in my life that I am blessed and thankful for.
Hug someone today and tell them how important they are to you.
Test Yourself07.05.05 (8:19 am) 
Can you pass this 3rd grade test??
How lucky am I?07.05.05 (12:09 am) 
To live in such a beautiful place. What a gorgeous day we had. Spent the morning with la abuela at the parade that seems to get bigger each year. We have been attending this parade yearly for about 12 years. Amazing.
Middle of the day provided some lunch time spanish lessons. *yes we are trying to master the language* Followed by a nice mid-day siesta.
We awoke, threw some grilled chicken salad and fruit into the cooler and headed to the beach.
Can I just say that we have the most beautiful beaches in the US right here in Naples. We had no trouble parking about 4 blocks north of the pier. After a nice walk, we took a dip and played some Kadema. Feasted on fresh made chicken and salad. Watched the crowds grow and grow. About 9pm the fireworks started. WOW has technology improved. They have fireworks that now explode into shapes. Stars, hearts and circles, just to name a few. The city did a great job of entertaining us this year. The kids loved the show. We hung out in our chairs while the crowd thinned out, counting stars. Took an after dark dip in the warm "shallow" waters.
We waited about an hour post fireworks before loading up and heading home. The traffic is always crazy but the traffic did nothing to squash our moods after such a great family night.
A few of my favorite pics of the day.
My little Darlins
Hoping everyone had a safe and thankful Independance Day.
U R what U eat-Lesson 107.01.05 (8:17 am) 
She stuck to it better than I expected. She had salad and fresh fruits and veggies. I had explained the importance of protein, so she got her protein from nuts and peanut butter. I forwarned her that she would feel the effects if she starved herself of nutrients.
About 10 days into project veggie, she starts feeling yucky. Tummy ache, head ache and weakness. Sleeping all the time to escape the tummy ache. Pissy whiney attitude to boot.
So I encourage her to eat. I am asking her for a run down of what she has eaten. The responses I get are that she has not eaten because she was away with a friend, going out to eat and nothing on the menu fit her eating style so she would have a salad.
We aren't rabbits. We can't survive on rabbit food. Hence her misery. Now that I have been a mom for a few years, I know that insisting she eat will meet with resistance and defiance. So I continue to monitor her and drop suggestions on how she will feel better.
By day 14, I am done with it all. She is miserable. She is struggling to get around. It is obvious that dispite her drama queen manner, this is no act. We had all gone to the park, on returning home it took her forever to get up our 3 flights of stairs. She flops on the couch and I swear she was dilerious. By now I am totally over it. So as she wallows on the couch, I proceed to heat up some left over ham. Knowing ham is her weakness hehe
I force her to eat the pig. It was hard for her because she felt so miserable, but she cooperated before she fell asleep. 2 hours later she awakes and low and behold, the headache is almost gone. The tummy ache has nearly vanished and she has color back in her cheeks.
It took another 2 days of eating a balanced diet for her to feel like herself again.
Amazing how much damage can be done by the food choices one makes. We are what we eat. (more on this to come)
Random Ramblings06.28.05 (6:45 am) 
Kinda weird to come by tblog to visit all my blog buddies and find that a big hunk of em are on hiatus. I guess it's that time of year that people are traveling and busy with reality stuff. Me too, only I WISH I was traveling.
I did make it to the beach on Sunday with my family! What a beautiful day it was. Reminded me why this is tourist country. Also reminded me that I need to spend more time outside in my own town. I must live in one of the most gorgeous tropical enviornments in this country. Lucky me!
There was a huge sandbar right off the beach. I took the 3 brave kids on a swim adventure. We waded out to the bar and then explored for shells and sand dollars. It was big fun. What put a damper on the adventure was coming home to hear the news on the recent shark attacks up in the panhandle. Yikes! The recent kid was in waist deep water. Easy to be scared off. Yet I have lived here for 16 + years and still have all my limbs.
I guess it is a risk we take enjoying the enviornment of carnivores. Imagine if we lived during dinosaur times. It wouldn't be safe to walk to the mailbox.
Classics to Offend everyone!06.24.05 (9:20 pm) 
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
Mid Life Crisis06.24.05 (9:08 pm) 
I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be.... Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally--more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it
For my Freaky Tblog Friends06.23.05 (9:01 am) 
Yet another guage of your freakiness. Enjoy
Corruption Test - How Sleazy Are You?
(Score over 200 : Seek Help)
1. Ever laughed at someone's misfortune ? (1)
2. Ever laughed at a mentally or physically handicapped person ? (2)
3. Ever tried alcohol ? (1)
4. Ever been Drunk ? (2)
5. Ever play drinking games ? (2)
6. Ever Fall down because you drank to much ? (3)
7. Ever drink enough to throw up ? (4) Bonus - Throwing up on yourself or another person (1)
8. Ever wake up and not remember what you did the night before ? (5)
9. Ever been forcibly removed from a bar ? 8
10. Ever participated in/finished a pub crawl ? (5)
11. Do you drink regularly, at least three times a week ? (3) Bonus - 1 point for each extra day (Max of 7)
12, Ever fall asleep/pass out in a bar? (4)
13. Ever try pot, hash, magic mushrooms ? (4 per drug tried)
14. Do you use drugs regularly ? (4) Bonus - more than four times a week (4)
15. Ever bought soft drugs ? (4)
16. Ever sell drugs ? 8
17. Ever sold drugs to support a drug habit ? (12)
18. Ever used barbiturates ? 8
19. Ever used hallucinogens ? 8
20. Ever used narcotics ? (10)
21. Ever been stoned or drunk for more than 48 hours ? 8
22. Ever Been on a date ? (2)
23. Ever been felt up, groped ? (2) Bonus - To orgasm (2)
24. Ever had sexual intercourse ? (6)
25. Ever had a bath or shower with a person of the opposite sex ? (5)
26. Ever paid for sex ? 8
27, Ever taken advantage of someone while they were drunk/ stoned / incapacitated ? (4)
28, Ever get someone stoned /drunk in order to obtain sexual favours, and succeed ? 8
29, Ever engage in oral sex ? (4) Bonus - To orgasm ? (2)
30, Ever engage in anal sex ? (6) Bonus - To orgasm ? (2)
31, Ever engage in the 69 position ? (4)
32, Ever contracted a STD? (12)
33, Ever had sex without a contraceptive ? (4)
34, Ever had or knowingly been responsible for an abortion ? 12
35, Ever had sex with more than one person at a time ? 9
36, Ever had sex with two or more partners in a week ? (4)
37, Ever had sex in a public place ? (6)
38, Ever had carpet burns in relation to a sexual act ? (4)
39, Ever engage in sexual activity with a member of the same sex ? (10)
40, Ever practiced bondage, masochism or sadism for sexual gratification ? 8
41, Ever used sex toys ? (6)
42, Ever pass out during sex ? (5)
43, Ever been responsible for loosing someone else's virginity ? (4)
44, Ever masturbated while talking on the telephone ? (3)
45, Ever bought something in a sex shop ? (3)
46, Ever licked or have someone lick an eyeball ? (1) toes ? (2) ears ?(1)
47, Ever had sex with a relative ? (5)
48, Ever make someone sleep in the wet spot ? (6)
49, Does necrophilla, pedophilla or beastiality turn you on ? (20)
50, Ever been arrested ? 8 Bonus - Convicted ? (7)
Add up your points now
0-20: A life in the church is too corrupt for you.
21-40: You barely make our scale.
41-60: approaching normal, you aren't much fun on a date.
61-100: Normal, you use your right hand like everyone else.
101-130: Above average, you've got a few tricks below the belt.
131-160: You're enjoying life to the max.
161-200: You're a danger to society. Who let you out on a day pass ?
Above 200: You're going straight to hell